Where does your identity, your sense of self, come from? If you’re like most, your identity isn’t something you work on; it’s something you accept based on what you’ve been through, what you do, the opinion of others, or that little voice inside you that’s always tearing you down. Think about that for just a moment if you would. How you feel about the most important person in your life is being formed and evolving without your active involvement. I’m divorced. I’m an entrepreneur. I’m a service advisor. I’m a salesperson. I’m inadequate. I’m a failure. And the list goes on. Accepting your identity has to stop if you’re going to live the life you’ve always wanted.
You’ve got to stop letting what’s happened to you become your identity. You have rough spots that you have to navigate through in your life as we all do. These are events in your life, and that’s all. Events that are...
Over this past weekend, I found out a very nice couple Brenda and I know was splitting up after seven years of marriage. Having been through this event a couple of times in my own life, I’d like to share with you some knowledge I’ve gained over the years and show you how it directly relates to your business and ultimately any long term employee success you hope to have.
Whether it be the great love of your life or your newest employee, your focus in the beginning of your relationship with them is on all the good things that person brings to your life. They can do no wrong and you love that. Then as time goes on, you start to notice things they do that you didn’t see before. Things that frustrate and aggravate you. Holy Cow! They have shortcomings you weren’t aware of previously.
The truth is there’s no such thing as the perfect mate or employee; someone who one hundred percent completes you or your business. I believe the best you can hope for is...
Feelings are amazing things; the high of love, the wonder of awe, and even the devastation of loss. What you feel is what makes you who you are and how you see the world around you. Your feelings are also the number one killer of your dreams, success, and fortune.
Instead of your feelings being one of many inputs you use to interpret the world around you so that you can properly respond to your environment, you’ve made them master of your life. Your feelings are your master because they determine how you react to the current situation and the actions that you take. An example of this is putting some action that you need to take off because you don’t feel like it. The bottom line is if you allow how you feel to run your life, you’ll never have the life you truly want from a relationship perspective, a significance perspective, or a success perspective.
If you want more from your life, then you need to put your feelings in their place. They’re a tool to be used...
There are going to be times in your life when things suck. They can suck for different reasons, but know that they will suck. It’s what you do when things suck that determine how far you get in life. The secret is to embrace the suck and keep moving.
Let’s talk about the two areas where the suck comes from. The first area is circumstances and other people. You lose a customer. Your spouse leaves you. Your child gets sick. You lose a parent. Each of these things sucks, and you have a choice to either sit there and stare at the suck, or you keep moving. If you lose a customer or your spouse leaves you, the first thing to do is not blame the circumstance. Instead, take the time to see what you could have done to prevent the occurrence from happening and fix it. Customers and spouses don’t just decide to leave one day. There’s been a number of disappointments that culminated in them leaving. If you learn the lessons buried within the suck, you’ll be a...
When you get this blog post this morning, I hope you’re taking a break from a busy day at work to read it. When I say the word work, what does that mean to you? I’ve found that the satisfaction you experience from what you do is determined by your level of engagement. There are three levels of engagement. How engaged are you in what you do?
It’s funny how I hear business owners and parents wishing their employees and/or children had more ambition. It’s a different story when I ask these same people that are complaining what their ambition is. They want more drive from others but are missing it in their own lives as well. Ambition is a wonderful word and an amazing attribute to have.
First, let’s get clear on what ambition means. According to dictionary.com, ambition means to seek after earnestly; aspire to. In other words, ambition is the focused act of achieving something of importance. Ambition can’t stand on its own though because it’s made up of three elements.
When you think of the word success, do images of fast cars, big houses, and financial freedom comes to mind? These pictures of success are hammered into your brain every day. If that’s the case then, why haven’t you achieved success? It’s not due to a lack of availability of resources and education. There’s never been a time in the history of man where the raw materials and knowledge you need have been so accessible. I believe the problem is the definition of success. The question that needs to be answered is what the definition of success is?
If the definition of success is the fancy automobiles, mansions, and bank accounts, why do you feel like you’re floundering and lost? It’s because you’ve let others determine what the definition of success means to you; thinking the word success can only mean one thing. You feel frustrated, beat down, and lost when it comes to achieving success is because you haven’t defined it. That’s...
Anyone that reads this blog knows I love quotes. They’re incredible lessons wrapped up in little nuggets. I came across one yesterday that really got me thinking and piecing things together. The quote is “A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after a success.” – Unknown. Think about those words for a moment. Let them mull in your brain. When an employee fails, is giving encouragement your go to response? If you’re like most, I’m willing to bet No.
Think about it though, it really makes sense. Sure your employees want to be recognized for doing things right, we all do. But how much more important is it to let them know that you believe in them and care about them when they fail? Instead of letting them feel bad because they failed and actually adding to it by getting upset and making them feel worse, you build them up and reinforce the fact that they’re a good person.
The best way to deal with the...
I believe in the concept of mind over matter. I'm not talking about telekinesis or ESP; I'll leave those topics to those more qualified than I to discuss. What I am talking about is what you believe in your mind, you create in your life. Before you label me a nut job and move on, please read on and see if you agree with me by the end of this post.
Why is it there can be two hotels in the same market where one is thriving and the other is struggling? Why is it there's one automotive repair shop that says they can't charge for diagnosing vehicles while another shop down the street that has customers regularly authorizing the shop up to three hundred dollars? Why is it a seventy-four-year-old woman can't swim but her kids' can?
All of these scenarios can be traced to what the person believes.
I was watching Hotel Impossible with my wife Brenda. Hotel Impossible is a show where the host, Anthony Melchiorri, goes and rescues failing hotels around the country. He does this by identifying...
When it comes to focus, there are two typical types I commonly see. You're focusing on your activity or on what you're trying to avoid. When your attention is on your activity, you're in "do it" mode to the exclusion of everything else. All that matters is getting the task at hand completed so you can move on to the next. Making what you want to avoid the center of your universe seems like a good idea. You want to stay as far away from the negative consequences of what keeps you up at night. Both of these should be avoided at all costs because neither will help you achieve all that you can and want to have.
What you want to focus on instead is the desired outcome you want for yourself, your business, and ultimately your life. You need to be crystal clear on where you're going. Once you know where you're going, you'll be able to determine the best way to get there. Activity on its own doesn't equal achievement. You need to know your destination and then you'll be able to come up with...
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