Just ONE Thing
Don’t Let Guilt Run Your Shop: How to Lead Without the Weight of the Past
Episode 231
with Rick White, 180BIZ
Good morning. My name is Rick White from 180BIZ.
This is my Just ONE Thing. What we're gonna talk about today is GUILT. Why is that a big deal? Because a lot of people avoid feeling guilty, but that's not what guilt is all about. Guilt is your body, your conscience, your identity, your values speaking out and saying, “Look at what you did. Look at what you said.
Look at what you didn't say. Look how you showed up.” And it's an ability for you to step back and learn from it. But what most people do with guilt is they either avoid it or they hang on to guilt—and that's a really dangerous thing to do. Because what you do with guilt when you hang onto it is it stops you from growing.
It stops you from pushing forward. It stops you from being a leader because you're not able to lead. You're feeling guilty because you're allowing the past to anchor you where you're at instead of pushing forward. And here's the other thing about guilt—
Sometimes guilt shows up as denial and defensiveness. That is super important to understand because you don't want to admit or embrace the guilt. Then you end up in a situation where you're not moving forward and you're pushing people away, and yet you can't be a great leader when you're feeling guilty.
So that doesn't mean avoid guilt. What it means is feel guilt, step back, understand why you feel guilty. Usually, guilt means you crossed one of your lines, you betrayed one of your rules, and it's understanding what that was and then coming up with a plan to move forward. That's all it is—being able to step back and say, “Wow, you know something? I said that, and I really didn't mean to.
I said it out of anger. I said it out of frustration, and it was really not a great thing. I'm ashamed of it. I feel guilty for what I did.” We have kind of a saying here at 180BIZ, which is own your shit. It means step up. Nobody expects perfection. No leader is perfect. What we expect in a leader is their ability to course correct.
It's their ability to go, “Whoops, that was a mistake.” When you do that, you create transparency. You let other people know, number one, you're not perfect; number two, you don't have all the answers; and number three, it allows you to step back and they get to see you. They get to see that you are a fallible human being like they are, but you are willing to set an example, be transparent, authentic, and own your stuff.
And by doing that, you're making it safe for them to own theirs. That's amazing, okay? So don't let guilt trap you. It is much more important to be able to learn from it, grow through it, and then be the leader that you're destined to be—the leader that you're capable of being.
And here's the thing: when somebody on your team makes a mistake—and they're going to—don't lose your cool. You've gotta make sure it stays safe for them. Because if they don't feel safe, it doesn't matter how many times you admit your faults, if you don't give them room to make theirs, then you're gonna end up in a situation where they're gonna hide their mistakes—and that doesn't work.
A lot of times I see leaders that are dealing with guilt; they lead from a place of fear. They lead from a place of “Do this or else.” But that doesn't create the team that you want. You wanna lead from a place of love, a place of respect, and it's allowing people to have teachable moments—allowing people to make those mistakes.
Trust me, you don't need to beat them up. They're beating themselves up. If you've got a good team and they really care about what they're doing, they're already beating themselves up. They need you to show them how good they are. They need you to show them that you're proud that they're on the team. And then you just step back and learn from that lesson.
The past is a library to learn from, not a room to live in. Richard Flint said that—so powerful. What I want you to do is recognize when you feel guilty. Instead of hanging onto it and just saying, “I'm a piece of trash. It's no good. I did it wrong. What was I thinking? I'm no good at this. I should never do this. I should never have done it. What made me think I could?” That's all ridiculous talk.
It doesn't have to be that way. It can be better. You can be better.
If this message is resonating with you, would you share it? So many people are being strangled by guilt, and it doesn't have to be that way.
You can't let an event become a dictation of what is possible for you because it's not true. So as you're going through, recognize this week—where have you felt guilty? What are you holding onto that you haven't let go of? What has happened in the past that you just can't let go of, that you haven't forgiven yourself for?
Because that's really what it's about: forgiveness. Like we forgive ourselves—what does that mean? It means that you accept what was done. You take ownership of it. You take responsibility for it. You fix it to the best of your ability if it involved another human being, and then you learn and grow through it.
That is how we forgive, right? Forgiveness—the final part is letting it go, not letting an event become your identity. That is all that really matters here. So I hope this makes sense. I want you to own the issue. I want you to fix it to the best of your ability. I want you to learn from it, grow through it, and let it go.
If you'd like to get some more wisdom like this, our Pocket Business Genius webinar series is available. It's very, very reasonable.
Also, if you'd like to see what coaching looks like, come to one of our Shop Owners Roundtables—second Thursday of every month, 7:00 PM Eastern.
I believe the next one is November 13th. So I hope this all makes sense to you. If it does—fantastic. Rock on. Share this video. If you have questions or you need some help with getting over something, reach out: [email protected]. We'll set up a time, we'll talk it through.
There's nothing that you have done that you can't be forgiven for.
So many times there's a boot on our throat, choking us—we don't realize it's our boot. Let go. Forgive yourself. Love yourself. Be patient with yourself. But don't give up. Be persistent.
Okay, everybody, thank you so much for being here. God bless. Have a great week, and go make some money. I'll see y'all next week live.
Take care. Bye-bye.
