Just ONE Thing
Why Scars Make Shop Owners Better Leaders
Episode 225
with Rick White, 180BIZ
So one of the things I wanted to start with is SCARS. That's my conversation today, and here's where it comes from. Learning comes with scars. That's a fact, right? That's a fact. I even—I got some notes here too. I want to make sure I got… so there's two kinds of scars. Let's talk about the first one.
Those are your scars, right? Your scars are powerful and painful. Your scars are proof that you went through a battle, right? This is kind of cool, because last week we were talking about the leadership uniform, right—the red shirt and the brown pants. Well, the red shirt is when we're bleeding. That's where the scar comes from.
And scars—we sometimes win, and sometimes we learn. Hopefully, because you've got a choice with a scar: you're either going to win, you're going to learn, or you're going to lose.
Now, why are these scars so powerful? Because every one of them has a story, and every one of them has a lesson. The problem is too many people stop at the story and they don't go far enough to learn the lesson. So that's when you lose. But otherwise, if you win, that's awesome. If you learn, that's also awesome, okay? But a lot of people—they don't, and that's the scary part about this.
Now, what are some really powerful lessons, the pros, about your own scars? Because what happens is, when they're your scars, they're painful. There's a big difference between you putting your hand on this hot stove and burning it versus seeing someone else do it, right? When it's your scar, it's unforgettable because it's personal and it's painful.
Now, the really cool thing about this is it can build resilience and grit and wisdom firsthand. You know, it was funny—Brenda and I were watching Land Man last night. We started at the beginning because we had kind of started and messed up. But one of the things he says, he's talking to his daughter—Billy Bob Thornton—and he basically is sitting there, laying in bed, talking with his daughter. And she says, “Daddy, how are you so wise?”
And he says, “Because I've been a failure my whole life, and I remember the lessons.”
See, when you're dealing with this stuff firsthand, it's never going to be more guttural, more personal than when it's your scar. And that's super, super important.
That's a pro—but it's also a con. Why? Because when you're going through these scars on your own, those scars tend to cost time, money, relationships, and opportunities. So you're burning through stuff. You're burning through resources—limited resources—that you have.
The other part of scars that is really, really dangerous is they can set you back. Why? Because our normal behavior is to avoid scars, to avoid pain. But we don't understand that everything you want in life is on the other side of a scar. Write that sucker down.
Anything that you want in life is on the other side of your next scar.
So that's the real truth to all of this.
Okay, now the second kind of scar is other people's scars. Now, there are some pros to this, and the pros to other people's scars—seeing other people do it—is it shortens the learning curve. Instead of me burning my hand on the stove and going through weeks of healing, I can watch someone else go through it. Not that I want to see anybody in pain, but I can watch somebody else burn their hand on the stove and go, “You know something? I'm never doing that. Like, I'll never do that, because I saw what they went through.”
So that's really cool. It shortens the learning curve, and it reduces your risk, right? It reduces your risk of time, money, opportunities, etc., because you're watching other people make the mistake. You're avoiding it. So like, instead of going through it, you're going around it. That's awesome.
Now, there are some cons to this. The con to other people's scars is your lessons aren't going to sink as deeply. They're going to be easier to forget because there's no personal pain associated with them. And you're going to risk dismissing advice because it's either “never going to happen to you,” “there’s no way,” and it just gets you going to the land of delusion.
You're going to be more likely to remember the pain, the lessons that you learn on your own, because they're more painful and they're more powerful. They sit there, man—“I don't ever want that to happen to me again.”
Like, I know what it's like to go through a divorce. Other people don't, and they're like, “Well, I'm just going to leave her” or “leave him.” And I'm like, “Todd, look at this carefully, right? This is something you can't put the toothpaste back in the tube. Once you got that toothpaste out, it's out. So think this through.”
Why? Because I know. I've been through it. I've got the scars.
We all have scars, and I want you to understand something. I'm going to go through this real quick. I want you to be willing to gain wisdom from both your personal experiences and others. I want you to step back and look for mentors and peers that have stories that are going to minimize your scars.
But then I want you to understand that your scars are a sign of growth, not a sign of shame. Too many of us see a scar on our arms or wherever and we try to hide them because we're ashamed of them. Listen—I need you to understand that every single scar shows that you made it through, that you went through something, it was painful, and you're on the other side. You didn't die from it.
So when you're willing to do that, I think it's going to be so amazing. So please, I hope you hear this: learn from other people's scars as many times as you possibly can.
And fine-tune it. Second, understand those scars—they're tuition for growth. They're something to be proud of, not something to be ashamed of.
I hope that all makes sense to you. If it does, again, begging you, please share this video.
Okay, everybody, thank you for being here with me. How am I doing? Got about 20 seconds. Love you all. Have a great week. Hope I'll see you at ASTA. We have a booth right outside the trade show. Please stop by. I got my little bar stool and bar table there. Let's sit down, have a talk. I'm looking forward to seeing you. I'll be there Thursday, Friday, Saturday, going home Sunday. So let's connect.
Guys, everybody—thank you. And John, you're absolutely right. You know, one of the ways you can avoid scars is to have a coach. And there are a lot of great coaches out there. If I'm one that you might be thinking of—me and my team, my team and I—please reach out. But otherwise, find a coach. It's amazing.
Every one of us—I have a coach. Brenda has a coach. Everybody should have a coach. My coaches have a coach. Everybody should have a coach.
So listen, have a great week. Go make some money. I'll see y'all next week. Bye-bye.
