JUST ONE THING
From Getting to Giving Mindset
Episode 39
With Rick White, 180BIZ
In this season of giving, I think it's important to step back and think this concept through. As business owners, we're so focused on what we are getting right now. We think about getting the money. We focus on getting the car done. We must be able to pay our bills. We are so focused on the receiving part, the getting part that we get lost in it. The idea of giving sometimes can be foreign to us because we're so focused on what we need. But as long as we chase what we want and need, we're never, ever going to get it. I’m here to help you understand the concept of giving and receiving. Giving and receiving is not a straight line. It's a circle. If you want to get better at getting, you need to get better at giving. I’ll give you three ideas that will help you.
When you switch from getting to giving the first thing to do is EXPECT NOTHING. When you enter a relationship or interaction or engagement having zero expectations, it's a lot easier for people to get to know, like, and trust you. That’s because they're not guessing your motive. They're not thinking you have a motive. If you expect nothing, it makes all the difference in the world. The one thing that we as human beings are fantastic at sensing is neediness. When we have a sense of neediness, it's a problem. You can smell it a mile away. It's like eating garlic the night before. Everyone can smell it just coming through the pores of your skin. Neediness is when you're focused on getting. It's when you're focused on you.
Now, I'm not suggesting you drag your self-interest out back and shoot it. Self-interest is important and necessary for you to be able to live happy and thrive. But what I'm suggesting is take your self-interest and put it into a box on a shelf and put it off to the side. When you engage with someone and you put your self-interest aside and expect nothing, it makes all the difference in the world.
The second thing I want you to do is SEE OTHER PEOPLE. And for some of us, this can be a struggle. There are typically two camps in this. There are some people that are others-focused, and it comes naturally to them. Then there are other people that are self-focused. And it's not that either one is right or wrong, but one works better than the other. I want you to see other people and I want you to be curious and caring. Understand what they're going through. Really step back and see them and what they're going through. Don't just l stop at the car. That will only create a transaction. We're not looking for transactions. We're looking for interactions. We're looking for a relationship. In order to get that, you must put the other person first. The moment you are thinking about yourself, you are no longer in a relationship because it ends here at the tip of your nose.
So, the first thing is to expect nothing. Have zero expectations. When the phone rings, it's not about the car; it's not about the sale; it's not about the appointment. It’s about “How can I help? What can I do for you?” Just be there. Be present. Last week, Brenda had a doctor’s appointment. While we were driving to the appointment and turned into the parking spot, all of a sudden power steering stopped. It started to leak a few days ago and I had an appointment already set up for it. But now the power steering pump is not working at all. So, I called the shop and I said, “Hi, my name is Rick white. I'd like to get my wife's 2015 GMC Acadia in. We're having some issues. The girl says, “Okay, what's your name?” I thought “What's your name? I just said my name.” She asked, “And what kind of car?” I again thought, “Are you kidding me?” When you pick up the phone, why aren't you already in listen mode? Why are you not ready with a pen in hand and a notebook? You should be writing notes as you're talking with your client. Listening has to start the moment we engage, and it starts by expecting nothing, seeing others and being curious and caring.. So those are the two things so far.
The last thing to do to help is give yourself the gift of BEING PRESENT. See the other person and just accept them for where they're at and who they are. If they're upset, it's okay. If they're frustrated, it's okay. If they're mad or angry or scared or whatever it is, be there and just listen. Be curious. Ask questions so you can better understand and then talk to them back. “Hey, you know, Wendy, it sounds like you're really frustrated with this…” And then connect and engage, help, and serve.
If you focus on those three simple things you can make the mind-shift so that it's not about the car or the sale. It’s not about making the phone ring or the cash register ring. If you can get out of that mindset and get into this mindset, sales and everything else start to become a lot easier and quicker and so much more fun because now it doesn't feel sleazy. Ultimately, I truly believe that each and every one of you are there to help and serve someone else and to make someone else's life, a little safer, a little easier. That's all. And if you embrace that, it makes all the difference in the world.
So, giving is not the opposite of getting, it's beginning. Write that down. Giving is not the opposite of getting, it's the beginning of getting by giving of yourself completely without expectation.
Take care, be safe, God bless, and Go Make Some Money!
