JUST ONE THING
Are You a Grinch?
Episode 38
With Rick White, 180BIZ
My question is, are you a Grinch? And all of us want to say, “No, of course I'm not.” But there's a big difference between how you think you're showing up and how people are perceiving you. And I am the king of this. We lie to ourselves all the time. We try to hide and pretend things are okay when they're not. And people can see it a mile away. If things are eating at you, if you're coming in a little grumpier than you'd like to be, I want to give you some tools that will help you grow your heart three times too big.
When you're being grumpy, it's a focus issue. You're focused on the stuff that is going wrong or could go wrong. Or you're worried about the future, or you're upset about the past. And what ends up happening is you get this really negative bias happening. And couple that the fact that our brains are wired to look for threats as a survival mechanism. That's the whole fight, flight, or freeze syndrome. It's easy to go dark here. Over time it erodes you. You may have a positive attitude or outlook and over a very short period of time, it erodes based on that negative bias and the natural tendency of your brain to look for threats.
So, what do you do about this? The first thing is to control our focus. You can control your focus. How do you do that? You do it by two things. Number one, by setting an intention. Give yourself a gift in the morning to set the intention for how the day will go. I want to change that up a little bit. It's not how the day will go. It's how you're going to show up for the day. You decide how you show up every day. Most of us don't take advantage of this. Most of us roll out of bed or fall out of bed. And we start reacting the moment we get up. We react to the temperature in the room. We react to our spouse next to us. We react to the aches and pains in our bodies. We react to the cell phone. We react to social media and everything that triggers us. Or we're looking at our email and there's something on there that gets you upset. And then you're in complete reactive mode.
And when you do that you're basically allowing your emotions to drive your life that day. Think of your life like a vehicle. You're allowing your emotions to drive your life. It doesn't need to be that way. You can decide how you show up, how you want to show up for that day. When you do that you’ll see magic start to happen. But how do you do that? How do you decide to show up? Ask yourself questions. What kind of boss do I want to show up as today? What kind of spouse do I want to be today? How do I want to show up as a husband? What kind of father or grandfather do I want to be? What kind of coach do I want to show up as” What kind of business owner do I want to be today? That's all you need to do. Give yourself that little bit of room in the morning and set the intention. It's amazing.
They've done some studies and just that one act of setting your intention has a ripple effect throughout your entire day. So, the first way to stop the Grinch from sneaking in is to fix your focus. And that's what I really think it is. You want to fix your focus. You want to change it. Next, our lives are filled with potential and problems. And over time we get stuck in the rut. I'm looking for the problems. So, the first thing I want you to do is set your intention each and every day. Give yourself that 10-to-15-minute gift in the morning to really think about how you want to show up. The day can go sideways real fast on you. You get to decide how you respond, who you want to be that day. So that's the first thing.
The second thing to change your focus is the easiest things in the whole world. It’s to ask yourself questions. I'll do some really strange, strange questions. If someone's going down a really bad tirade or something like that, I'll ask them really something silly. It's just to break that negative focus. I must get them to stop. How do I do that? I'll ask them really stupid questions. You may have heard me ask them. It breaks the concentration, breaks the focus. And then it gives me something to work with.
Now you've got an inner critic beating you up all day long. What I need you to do, please, every single morning is to find five questions you're going to ask. For example, “How can I find more joy in my day today?” I love that because it's got a presupposition in it. In other words, I'm saying more joy. I already got joy in my life. I want more. Other questions could be, “How can I show up and be an angel here on earth today?” “How can I be here for somebody else?” Here's another one. “Am I going to dance with my dreams? Or am I going to with my fears today?” Because I truly believe life is just a dance.
So, focus is all about intention and questions. What's the next thing we can do when we’re a grinch? Stop and recognize the stuff that's really amazing in our lives. I am blessed with the most amazing woman in the whole world. And I mean that. I'm saying it because it's true. My wife is amazing, and I am so blessed to have her in my life. She truly is a gift from God. She has put up with so much crap and she still hangs in there with me because she loves me. And I love her. I have kids and grandkids. And you know something? I'm walking further than I've walked in a long time. I have less pain than I've had in a long time. There's so much to be grateful for. So, the first thing I do when I wake up before I even my feet even hit the floor. I'm thinking of five things I'm grateful for. And four of them are different. Every single day. Brenda is always there.
You can't have two emotions at the same time. You can think about problems and worry. Or you can step back and start with gratitude. I want you to understand something. All abundance starts with gratitude. It doesn't come from worry. It doesn't come from fear. Step back and be grateful and watch what happens in your life. But when you're talking about it, you go through your five things. Really feel it.
Now, the last one is to take action, but take action for others. There are people out there that need us. Donate some time or do something special. When you start to see what other people are going through, all of a sudden it puts our issues into perspective. Focus with intention and questions, gratitude, and take action especially for others.
Take care, God bless, and go make some money!
