The Problems You Keep Complaining About Are Costing Your Shop

I’ve done a lot of thinking about complaining. Not just the occasional frustration we all have, but the act of complaining itself and what it tells us about what’s happening in our businesses.

And I’ve boiled it down to something pretty simple.

Think about that for a minute.

You don’t like the way things are, so you complain. Then somebody says, “Okay, let’s change it.” Suddenly, you’re complaining about the change.

That’s the paradox of complaining, and for shop owners and managers, it can become a very expensive place to live.

What Do You Keep Complaining About in Your Shop?

Maybe you complain about people who don’t take ownership. Maybe it’s profitability, working too many hours, employees who don’t follow processes, or the fact that you don’t have a process in the first place.

Maybe it’s customers.

Maybe it feels like nothing ever changes.

Then you realize that fixing those problems requires you to do something differently.

You might have to have a difficult conversation. Raise your prices. Change somebody’s role. Hold someone accountable. Say no. Change a process. Create a process. Make a decision somebody isn’t going to like.

And suddenly the conversation changes.

I get it. You don’t want to rock the boat.

But if you keep complaining about the same problem while refusing to make the change required to address it, you’re not really solving anything.

Complaining Isn’t the Problem

I’m not telling you that complaining is bad.

Complaining is a sign. It tells you that what you’re getting isn’t what you want. It’s 100% natural, and it can be necessary.

But it becomes dangerous when you leave it unchecked.

When all you do is complain, you start feeling like what’s happening isn’t in your control. That moves your locus of control from an internal “I got this” focus to an external “Why me?” focus.

And when that happens, momentum, confidence, and culture slowly die.

That’s why I want you to look at complaining differently.

Your complaints can tell you where something needs your attention. The problem starts when you use complaining as a substitute for actually doing something about it.

Complaining Can Become a Pressure Relief Valve

This is the part I really want you to hear.

Why?

Because complaining works like a pressure relief valve.

You’re not getting what you want, so the pressure builds. You complain. You vent. You get it off your chest. You feel a little better.

But nothing changes.

A week later, the pressure builds again. You complain again. You get some relief again.

Still, nothing changes.

Complaining gives you just enough relief to tolerate something you actually need to address. That’s where it becomes dangerous, because you can start feeling like you’re dealing with the problem when all you’re really doing is talking about it over and over again.

If you’ve been complaining about the same employee, process, workload, customer, or financial issue for months, the complaint itself isn’t getting you anywhere.

If You’re Unwilling to Change It, Can You Keep Complaining About It?

If you’re unwilling to change something, at some point you lose the right to keep complaining about it.

That doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to be frustrated. It doesn’t mean every problem has a simple answer.

It means that eventually, being the leader requires you to make a decision.

You can accept what’s happening, or you can do something about it.

You can’t refuse to change the situation, refuse to accept the situation, and then continue complaining about it indefinitely.

That keeps you stuck. And your shop doesn’t need you stuck.

Stop Waiting for Everyone to Get on Board

One of the excuses I hear around change is, “I need to make sure everybody is on board.”

Listen, you absolutely want to hear your people. Their input matters.

But waiting for everybody to get on board isn’t good leadership. It’s fear wearing a leadership costume.

There’s another part of the paradox here: the same people complaining about the way things are may be the first people to complain when you change them.

That doesn’t automatically make the change wrong.

Your job as the leader is to listen, consider, decide, communicate, and act, even when it doesn’t feel perfect.

Because it isn’t going to feel perfect.

Not everybody is going to agree. If you wait until change feels comfortable, you’re going to be sitting on the side of the road forever.

1. Recognize What You Keep Complaining About

The first thing you need to do is catch yourself complaining.

Don’t judge it. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Just notice it.

Ask yourself:

What do I keep complaining about?

Your complaints are clues.

If you’ve been complaining about the same team member, the same process, too much work, too little work, the same customer, or the same financial issue, you don’t have a complaint anymore.

You have an unresolved decision.

Recurring complaints are showing you exactly where something remains unresolved. Recognizing that gives you the opportunity to stop repeating the same cycle and decide what you’re actually going to do.

2. Reframe the Complaint

Once you recognize the complaint, change the question.

Instead of asking:

“Why does this keep happening to me?”

“This isn’t fair.”

Ask:

“What am I going to do about it?”

And if your answer is “nothing,” then ask yourself one more question:

“Am I willing to accept things the way they are now?”

Either answer can be okay.

There are going to be things you decide to address, and there are going to be things you consciously decide to accept.

What doesn’t work is refusing to address something, refusing to accept it, and continuing to complain about it.

The reframe moves you from victim to owner. It moves you from frustration to responsibility.

What you’re dealing with may not be your fault, but it is 100% your responsibility to resolve.

3. Respond With the Next Best Action

The third step is to respond.

Do something. You don’t have to do everything. Do something.

• Have the conversation.
• Clarify the expectation.
• Reinforce the process, change it, or create one.
• Make the decision.
• Raise the price.
• Ask for help.
• Set the boundary.
• Hold somebody accountable.
• Or consciously accept the situation and stop giving it your energy.

When I was in Florida recently, the heat index was around 112 degrees. I could complain about the heat all day long, but what exactly is that going to accomplish?

I have to recognize that I can’t change it and accept it for what it is. Shaking my fist at the temperature is just going to make it feel hotter.

Responding doesn’t mean reacting emotionally. It means taking your next best action.

Because action is what breaks the cycle.

The new cycle begins when your complaint becomes a trigger for action instead of an excuse for inaction.

Try the Three Rs for the Next Seven Days

Here’s my challenge to you.

For the next seven days, listen to yourself complain.

Every time you catch yourself doing it, run that complaint through the three Rs:

Pay particular attention to the things you complain about repeatedly.

Those recurring complaints may be telling you exactly what your next decision needs to be.

And yes, sometimes that decision is going to be hard.

But you don’t have to become somebody who never complains. That isn’t the point.

The point is to never become somebody who uses complaining to tolerate what you know needs to change.

Use complaining as the tool it’s meant to be, and start creating the business you’ve always dreamed of.