How Much Will You Tolerate Before You Finally Hit Rock Bottom?

When you hear the words rock bottom, what do you picture?

Bankruptcy? Divorce? Losing your business? Addiction? Losing everything?

We tend to talk about rock bottom like it’s a physical place. Like you keep falling and falling until eventually you hit it. But I’ve been thinking about this differently.

If rock bottom were defined by a specific event or circumstance, wouldn’t it be pretty much the same for everybody?

It isn’t.

One person can lose everything before finally saying, “Enough.” Another person can miss their daughter’s recital and decide, “You know something? I’m never doing that again.”

Neither person is better or worse.

Their rock bottoms are simply different.

And I think there’s an important lesson in that for every auto repair shop owner who knows something in their business, or their life, is moving in the wrong direction.

Rock Bottom Isn’t Defined by What Happens to You

I’m starting to think rock bottom isn’t defined by what happens to you.

That changes the question.

Instead of asking, “Have I hit rock bottom yet?” maybe we should be asking, “How much further am I willing to go?”

Because I don’t really see this as a fall. I see it as a spiral.

You’re either spiraling down or you’re spiraling up.

If rock bottom is where that downward spiral stops, then we need to understand what starts the spiral in the first place.

I think it begins when you start accepting something that violates a rule, an expectation, a standard, or falls short of the potential you know is possible.

Or maybe it’s about potential. You know what your business could become, but you’re settling for far less.

That’s where the spiral can start.

Your Shop Doesn’t Have to Be in Crisis to Be Spiraling Down

This is what makes the downward spiral so easy to miss.

You don’t have to be in a crisis.

Things can look pretty good from the outside while you’re moving further and further away from where you know you should or could be.

And this isn’t limited to your auto repair shop.

It can happen with your money, your marriage, your family, your health, your relationships, your faith, or your own personal growth.

So don’t just look at an area of your life and ask whether it’s good or bad.

Am I moving toward what I believe this could or should be?

Or am I moving away from it?

That’s how you start recognizing the spiral.

What Are You Tolerating?

Here’s where it gets interesting.

If you recognize that something violates one of your rules, expectations, or standards, why don’t you immediately do something about it?

I think it’s because something is usually feeding your tolerance.

You’re tolerating the spiral.

Sometimes it’s fear.

Maybe it’s fear of confrontation. You know you need to have a conversation, but you don’t want the potential conflict.

Maybe it’s fear of judgment.

What are my employees going to think? What are my family and friends going to think?

Maybe it’s fear of failure.

What happens if I try to change this and it doesn’t work?

Sometimes it’s attachment.

People might call it comfort, but a lot of times it isn’t actually comfortable. It’s just familiar.

You don’t like the situation, but you know you can deal with it. In a strange way, that makes staying there feel like the safer choice.

Maybe it’s a habit.

Maybe you feel loyal.

Maybe you’ve put so much money or time into something that you don’t feel like you can walk away.

Sometimes it’s emotion. Guilt. Greed. Hope.

Maybe you tell yourself you’re expecting too much. Maybe you really need to make payroll this week, so you stretch a bill or charge someone for something that didn’t work.

That’s why understanding tolerance matters.

Rock Bottom Happens One Small Compromise at a Time

The spiral toward rock bottom usually isn’t one giant decision.

It’s one small cut at a time.

One small compromise at a time.

Then that compromise becomes the norm, and eventually the compromises become bigger and bigger.

In the beginning, none of them sound horrible. Some can even sound positive.

But they can all do the same thing.

They convince you to tolerate one more violation.

Then another.

Then another.

Eventually, something you once said you would never accept has become normal.

The violation didn’t disappear.

You just learned to tolerate it.

So when you recognize something moving in the wrong direction, don’t stop at asking, “What’s wrong?”

What am I tolerating?

What’s feeding my tolerance?

Because whatever is feeding that tolerance may be the thing keeping your downward spiral going.

There Is Almost Always Another Level Down

Here’s the scary thing about falling.

There’s almost always another level down.

You can tell yourself, “Well, I haven’t hit rock bottom yet.”

Okay.

You can move even further away from the potential you know is possible.

If you’re waiting for life to tell you, “Okay, you’ve officially hit rock bottom. It’s time to stop,” you might be waiting a long time.

You decide, “This is far enough.”

“I’m not doing this anymore.”

“I’m not lowering my standard again.”

“I’m not continuing actions that are hurting me.”

That decision is what stops the fall.

Learn to Recognize Your Own Downward Spiral

We all do this.

For me, I know I’m starting to spiral down when I start checking out.

I’ll bury myself in doom scrolling or playing games on my phone to the point where it feels like I’m either awake working or playing.

That’s a problem.

I recognize that I’m avoiding something.

That’s one of the ways I know I’m spiraling down in an area of my life.

You have to be able to recognize what that looks like for you, too.

Does making that decision immediately fix everything?

Nope.

You may have a hell of a climb ahead of you.

But you stopped the fall. And that’s what makes the bottom the bottom.

You Don’t Need to Be at the Top to Know You’re Winning

You don’t need to see the final achievement to feel like a winner.

You need to see progress.

When you stop that downward spiral and say, “Enough. That’s it. No more,” you can start moving back up.

Yeah, you may have a lot of work ahead of you.

You may have things you need to push through. Relationships you need to mend. Problems you need to address.

But now you’re moving forward.

You have control again.

You’re the hero, not the victim, in your story.

Because each and every one of us is here to create a life, not just react to stuff. We’re here to create.

Three Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Hit Rock Bottom

Step back and look at the different areas of your life and business.

Don’t ask whether each one is simply good or bad. Start with these questions:

The violation starts the spiral down.

What feeds your tolerance keeps the spiral going.

Your tolerance determines how far that spiral goes.

But your decision defines rock bottom.