Judging Yourself by Rick White, President 180BIZ
Yesterday, I heard something that was eye-opening for me. I had a couple of trainers and speakers come into my virtual summit this past weekend. And Debbie, one of the speakers, said something to the effect that judging yourself, doesn't help you grow. I thought about that. When I start reviewing how I'm doing, I usually jump right into judging mode. Do you feel the same way? Do you do the same thing where you just start immediately judging yourself when you don't get the results you wanted. You immediately think you’re not good enough. You’re not smart enough. A
All this stuff is a ridiculous thing to say to ourselves. You need to stop judging yourself. Judging yourself, kills momentum. And I love the law of momentum. Momentum simply states that in the beginning, it's four units of effort to get one unit a result. But then as I get going, it actually flips to the point where it's one unit of effort for four units of results. But if I keep stopping to beat myself up every single time, something doesn't go the way I think it should, I start judging. But judging goes a lot further than that.
We judge all the time and I know maybe you're saying no, no, I'm open minded. I don't do that. And I'm going to tell you at some level, at some point you do. Let me tell you what I mean. Let me give you some examples. You judge your days; you judge whether you have a good day or a bad day. But neither are true. You just had a day filled with events, but you judge those events and then you focused on certain events and those create the meaning of whether it's a good day or a bad day. And the problem with that mentality is that when you decide it’s a good day or a bad day, you're playing the victim. You're letting the day happen to you. You are the manager of your life. You are the creator of your life.
And it all starts in your head. It starts with an open mind. When you judge your day, you are letting the day happen to you. You're judging those events and you're labeling them. And because you're labeling them you don't learn from them. See, when you label something, you don't learn. Our minds need to have labels like a rose. You know, once we put a name to something, we stop paying attention to it. So that's the first thing you do. You judge events and situations right away. Is it good or is it bad? Is it safe or is it unsafe? You do this and you miss the lessons. So, you judge events, you judge people, you judge your customers, you judge your team all the time. You listen to somebody and maybe they're having a bad day and they're coming across a little rude. That's just one part of it.
That's just one piece of it. I tell my kids all the time. We're all idiots sometimes. You just caught this person at that moment. It doesn't make them an idiot, but that’s how you labeled them. When you label somebody, whether it's a customer or your team member, you prevent them from growing. You prevent them from getting better. You prevent them from becoming more because of the label. What I'd like you to do instead is be curious. What I'd like you to do is stop and say, wow, I wonder what's going on in their life where they're so rude this morning. It might sound something like, “Hey Jeff, you're really coming across pretty intense this morning. This is unlike you. Is everything okay?”
Just that little bit makes such a big difference. You get to connect. Maybe this person opens up and they find someone they need to just talk to. I got up this morning, I was getting ready. My wife was still in bed and I said, “You know something, is it okay if I come back? I just need my wife for a couple of minutes. And I just talked with my best friend and it helped. It helped me get refocused. It helped me get reenergized and helped me get rededicated. But you know something, if I didn't have that opportunity, I would have been carrying the crap around all day long. I would have been judging all day. I judged my day this morning, before it even got started.
But I was able to stop, talk with my wife, and get better. Don't judge other people because you don't let them grow. The last thing is you can't judge yourself. We are on a path and it's bumpy and rocky. And sometimes it's dark and slippery and we're going to trip and we're going to fall. Don't let your lessons deter your dream. Those falls are not failures. They are simply lessons to step back and learn from. And I want you to learn from them, but not linger. Don't sit there. Don't make that lesson your identity. It's an event to help you become better. Why do I keep talking about this stuff? Because you've been so ingrained with failure. You're so afraid of failing in front of somebody or by yourself or not thinking you're enough.
And I'm here to tell you this morning, you are enough. You are exactly where you should be. You are set up for the greatest takeoff you've ever had, but you've got to get your head right first. That lump three feet from your butt. Yes. You must get that right. First, if you're afraid of failure, you're never going to move. If you're judging, you're going to slow down and stop. If you come to a decision and don't make it, you'll lose momentum. If you are judging you lose momentum. Stay curious, stay focused, be patient and persistent, and your life is going to be amazing. There are going to be tough things we must do. And it’s not going to be easy. It's going to hurt. But on the other side of that hurt, on the other side of that fear, I promise you is everything you have ever wanted.
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